I didn’t feel that I fit into any groups at school, so I was friendly with all of them.
Since I had this policy at a young age, it helped me to not define myself too closely with any one group of people. They all seemed nice but limited in their opinions and outlook. I never told them this, just kept quiet and contributed to the current conversation.
I am sharing this because one time I sat with the smart kids. They talked about smart things and then they got cruel. Smart people often like to make dumb people feel dumb, and one of the smart kids was making fun of another kid. I immediately stood up to this jerk and told him that perhaps we should compare IQ scores before he starts calling anyone dumb. He and the other smart kids laughed at this. I wasn’t perceived to be smart, so they thought this was a silly thing for me to say.
The thing is that those kids and that jerk might have had a higher IQ, but they were terribly immature emotionally. I don’t claim to be a perfect person, but I generally don’t make fun of other people unless they are in traffic. Lots of jerks in traffic aren’t there? Anyway, being able to be kind and not harshly judge others has made all of the difference for me.
Another time I was talking to some young women in high school who were looked down on by their peers. We lived in a community with conservative values, and because they were sexually active they were considered morally inferior. You can imagine the unkind words that were used to describe them. Anyway, that wasn’t a problem for me. I always found them authentic and sincere with me. It didn’t matter to me what their hobbies were. You don’t treat people badly because they don’t fit into your narrow view of the world.
This is not to brag about me, but to share that by accepting others I had lots of beautiful experiences that I wouldn’t have otherwise had. I never found the smart kids to be that fun to be around. I tried a few as friends, but their emotional issues were more than I wanted to deal with. You can be smart and healthy of course and I am lucky now I have friends who are both.