Many people believe it is more important to get others to listen to them than to listen.
This is clearly wrong. Other people won’t listen to you until they feel heard first. Practically speaking, how can you respond until you have heard what someone else has to say?
Yet almost no one does this. This is something that I learned from The Habits of Highly Effective People book. I immediately did this in my life, and it has made all of the difference.
Now I am not going to claim any special insight because I follow this principle. However what I can say is that personally my life is easier when I listen to others first.
I have had many examples in my life where listening first has defused the anger of a coworker, or anyone that I come into contact with in my daily life. We don’t have to believe or agree with others, but we do have to respectfully listen to them.
Failure to listen is why every unhelpful decision is done. People who aren’t listened to get angry, and then they make poor decisions. They feel that if their opinion/life don’t matter, then it doesn’t matter what happens as long as something happens.
Irrationality wins when we don’t listen to others. Listening is a pressure valve of the feelings and thoughts that we all have. Even the most emotionally intelligent among us can lose patience with others, but listening is a way to become centered and peaceful.
Do you think that people want the BS that is in their life now? No. They made poor decisions because no one engaged with them and listened to them. They didn’t have a chance to examine their own thoughts and realize that perhaps they were wrong. They didn’t have the feedback that what they are doing is hurting themselves and others. They didn’t have the peace to see things with wisdom.
I get it. Listening to others can be boring and frustrating. Not listening causes results that are even more frustrating.