Why do we see our faults more often than our strengths?
I think it is because we feel embarrassed by what we lack. Often society or others might make us feel that if we aren’t the prettiest or smartest in the room, then we are nothing. Or sometimes the fault is in ourselves. We want to be the prettiest and the smartest because that is what we have built our identity on.
Of course, you can see the problem here. We aren’t going to be the best person always in the room. Even when we are the best, it doesn’t matter because we know we are still small fish in a big pond.
Lets go back to the main topic. Why are people more focused on their faults than their strengths? I think it happens because people may not have gotten enough feedback and compliments and praise about who they are. So they think because they are familiar with their faults, it is obvious to others. It is not always obvious to others.
Many men can relate to meeting a woman for the first time and she is uncomfortable with some aspect of her body. I have met women and they immediately show their own self-consciousness with their body image. So one woman said to me “You probably won’t like me in person” when we were talking on the phone.
I met that woman and she was fine. She felt embarrassed because she felt her breasts weren’t big enough. That was never an issue for me. For some men certainly, it is a preference for a certain size, but looks do not factor into that equation for that to be a cause to reject someone.
I have learned through complimenting and being kind and research that only 4% of women believe they are beautiful. This is a sad comment on our society. I don’t think 96% of women are not beautiful. I think almost every woman is beautiful in her own way. As a society, we have to value each other, even if our breasts are not as large as plastic surgeons would want us to have.