I realized a few days ago that one of the things that I do is an echo of my love of my grandmother.
My grandmother loved playing solitaire. She was so good at it. She didn’t have a computer but played with a deck of cards. She seemed to win every game and I didn’t understand how she did it. I asked her once to show me how to play and she showed me that I sometimes missed opportunities in the game. As a kid who liked to be active, this kind of game didn’t appeal to me. It was ok, but I preferred to play other card games with her.
Years later after she had died, I found myself playing solitaire on the computer. I wasn’t good at it, but I still played trying to get better. I didn’t have money to buy games, and it was one of the few games that was free. Never liked Minesweeper. I still wasn’t improving so I let it go and ignored the same for a while.
Time passes and I am thinking of a game that I might enjoy playing. I still don’t have disposable money for games, (this isn’t to feel sorry for me I just prioritize my spending) and I think why not play solitaire? I downloaded the game and started playing and suddenly I am much better at it. I see opportunities that I didn’t see before. What is the difference? I am taking my time to play it and look at my situation and not rushing to do something more active.
Now it is a few days ago. I realize that playing this game was a link to my grandmother and I miss her. It doesn’t matter what my skill at the game is. She taught me that being with someone you love is more important than winning or losing. The best part of my childhood was her plus reading. They gave me hope and possibilities and it is the fabric that I have built my life on.