I want to make it clear that I am not attacking Mormon individuals here. Individuals are easy targets, but the real purpose is to educate about the structure of Mormonism.
Before I said that I loved certain Mormon people. They were kind and supportive to me, and they helped make my life better. Not all Mormons were kind and supportive, but generally Mormons are like Canadians. They want to be friendly and nice, even if they are a little goofy at times.
I’m talking about Mormons and Canadians both being a little goofy. Everyone is an individual, and there are plenty of Mormons and Canadians who are unpleasant SOB. Having a faith doesn’t make someone a robot.
I met people who were jerks and Mormon. I didn’t think anything different that if they weren’t Mormon and jerks. Some people are just jerks and once you learn that, you can avoid them. No faith makes anyone automatically better. That is something that has to be done at the individual level.
Later I joined a christian faith and that faith didn’t make them automatically better either. So I avoided two cults, and then got involved with a third. When you grow up around cults, even if you resist that cult it makes you vulnerable to other cults.
I left that faith and since then I realized that religion just doesn’t work out for me. I can’t seem to find a place with sincere people who don’t have some financial or other motive in mind. When I was around Mormons there was always a pressure to benefit someone and it wasn’t you.
I mentioned the 10% of their income they have to give to the church. They will come around and make sure you give it. You also pay for your missionary. In some cases $20,000. You are always supposed to be helping the church, and that is something I saw in every religion I was a part of. if you weren’t helping it, you weren’t a good member of that church and probably a bad person.
Now part of being spiritual appealed to me. I wanted to transcend the earthly things. There is no transcendence in religions. It is all about doing earthly things, and it is never enough.
I saw people who were constantly giving their time, money to the Mormon church and it was never enough. They felt they weren’t spiritual enough. Meanwhile their families were falling apart. Religion clearly hurts those who involve themselves in it. It adds burdens to people, to reduce burdens for religious leaders.
I remember and wish all of the Mormon people that I interacted with the best intentions. Even though Mormonism was used as a tool to exclude me from getting jobs, social interactions and others, I don’t hate anyone. They did what they thought was best, and I can respect that. We are all imperfect and we do what we think helps ourselves and others.
However it is also true that as a young child I had a dream where I felt an overwhelming sense of connection with everyone. So when I was excluded I knew it was arbitrary and mean. For this reason I could identify with minorities feeling excluded and even though I was white, I experienced what it was like to be an outcast and unwanted by a community.
It made me more sympathic to social justice, and to take the rights of the minority always in mind. Empathetic people become stronger with adversity, because we know the pain first hand. This is not a tribute to me. I wouldn’t have chosen this path. However this was my path, and I have tried to walk it with as much kindness as possible.
Even though I wasn’t Mormon, I still find many Mormon people who were attracted to me and supported me. I did community events like theater and I always felt like part of a community even if I wasn’t Mormon. I once was asked to lead the prayer before the play production and when I finished some people were crying and my cast mates said my prayer was beautiful. I am not saying this to brag, but rather that I cared about whatever community I was a part of and valued that more than the teaching of that specific community.
You can be an outsider in a community, you can be the “bad boy” and somehow that makes you even more desirable to certain people. Never underestimate your own value.