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Falling in love and choosing to love

It just occurred to me there is a big difference between falling in love and choosing to love.

When I have fallen in love with someone it was a surprise to me. For example, one woman that I fell in love with I only realized when I was leaving her. I felt scared and sad to leave her and I didn’t understand why. Then it hit me that I must love her. I told her that I loved her, and that I would find a way for us to be together. We reunited 2 months later.

When I have chosen to love someone, it was a decision on my part. I weighted the pros and cons of a relationship with them. It seemed to me that my life would be richer and more intense with them in it. I had a wise teacher once say that a relationship made life more intense. It made the highs higher and the lows lower. I agree. A relationship has been worthwhile even though it is a great deal of work.

Which is the most important thing I want to discuss here. When you are in a relationship it is hard work. If you listen and are open to another person you can learn a great deal and grow. As important as growing is, you can also have a great deal of fun and enjoyment. Many relationships have been so wonderful and opened doors to me that knowing some people is a privilege and honor.

In life people often brag about the limited goods they might own. They might say “Oh yes, I have the only Rembrandt painting” or the use of a limited production car. Sure those things are impressive. However even more impressive is knowing someone who brings you joy each day. Someone who sets the tone each day and makes it better just by being in it.

Someone you call a friend, and who you want to always be there. Falling in love or choosing it doesn’t matter, as long as you have love in your life.

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