Have you seen these lists on the Internet of people that the author is judging and hating? The reasons they give are so superficial. Its really a surprising waste of time and effort when I see these types of articles. So this post is a response to that, and instead of giving individual names, I think its better to apply rules/guidelines in helping to determine the worst kinds of people.
- The worst type of person hates others for one reason and excludes all the other good they may do. In every list they list people who have done things that are unhelpful but fail to mention the helpful things they have done. For example, Richard Nixon did some unhelpful things, but he also signed into being the EPA/OSHA/CPSC and earth day. I’m not here to debate if Richard Nixon was a good president, but certainly we can’t summarily judge him by one event like Watergate.
- The worst type of person hates based on their feelings not on facts. Listen I understand how easy it is to hate someone based on your feelings. Plenty of people exist in the world that I don’t like. However it is mistake to treat others just because you don’t personally like them. Yesterday I said in my post that Jeff Bezos is a terrible person. That is part of the reason I am writing this post today. My opinion of what Amazon is doing to society is just that. I would never advocate treating someone disrespectfully based on my feelings towards them.
- The worst type of person doesn’t give people the same rights they give themselves. It is very common for people to say that certain people are wrong, but when they do the same thing it is ok. If you are a hypocrite and don’t realize it, then you are someone to feel sorry for. We all are hypocrites. We all apply rules to others we don’t follow ourselves. For example, I often say here to be kind and respectful. At times while driving in traffic I am not kind and respectful, and I own that. To claim that I am always nice is not realistic. We all have weaknesses and we have to be honest with that.
- The worst type of person seeks to create us vs them situations. Again it is very common for people to create situations where “we” have to defend ourselves from the “bad” outsider. The truth is that we have more in common than we do in differences. We have different opinions, but we are very, very short on facts for those beliefs. We have beliefs based more on feelings and that is the main cause I see of tension in the world.
- The worst type of person loves to point out faults of others. People who want to justify their own point of view always point out the faults of others. Perhaps pointing out faults is helpful when people are ready or haven’t considered the weaknesses. However if they are ready and have considered the weaknesses then pointing out faults is a waste of time and energy. Instead of just always trying to point out faults, we should ask others how we can help them. There is an old Russian proverb I love “Faults are thick where love is thin.” I think of that when I might want to criticize someone. Then I shut up, and wait for them to be ready for a different point of view.
- The worst kinds of people insist their opinion is the best interpretation of reality. I used to work with a coworker who always had an opinion about everything. When I would talk with him he insisted his ideas were the way things were. I didn’t argue, I just let him say whatever he wanted. You can’t argue with someone, just listen and consider if that resonates with you.
- The worst kinds of people think that they are smarter than you. I love this one. I often have met people who think they are smarter or know more in my particular IT niche. I consider myself a macintosh expert, so there are people who know more than me of course, but they are rare. One time I was helping a client and she disagreed with my methods. So she grabbed the computer and started to do things because she felt my method was too slow. I find out the next day from my coworker that her email isn’t synchronizing now because of the things she did. She was too ashamed to talk to me and take the risk that I would say “I knew what I was doing.”
- The worst kinds of people hurt others and don’t care. I have said before that apologizing makes a huge difference. It doesn’t even matter if you feel like you are the victim, because the act of apologizing is for you and not for them. You have to let things go, and what a relief it is to let things go. I feel bad for people who can’t let things go. They relive and waste their life worrying about something they can’t do anything about.
- The worst kinds of people throw people away. Strangely I have met people who said I was a wonderful person, yet no longer wanted to be in a relationship with me. Of course I am not everyones cup of tea, but it is hard to believe that I am so damaged that I was unacceptable to those people. What I have learned is that there was nothing wrong with me. What was wrong was that persons ability to love and be loved. We take things personal that are not personal. It is sad when someone can’t accept an honest love. I am thinking now of several women that I loved who I imaged a future with. I hope that they find love, and that they love fully one day.
- The worst kinds of people would rather be right than happy. So much of life is learning that we can be happy and not need to be right. I often have to challenge myself that my ideas and feelings may be something that are blocking my ability to be fully happy. What is the point of life if we are not happy? What pleasure can material things bring, if we don’t have someone to share them with? How can we be happy in a relationship when we aren’t happy with ourselves? It is so basic that happiness is often not having things, but letting things go.
These are the ten kinds of people I find challenging. What kind of life do you want?