I realized something the other day. I have only met a handful of kind men in my life. Why is that?
The biggest reason seems to be a culture that doesn’t value and reward kind men. According to surveys and studies, most male bosses feel the need to be authoritative and unkind. This seems to be rewarded in the workplace. Most jerks get ahead, and the nicest male bosses are seldom promoted. In fact, the opposite is true. Kind bosses get the most productive workers.
Looking back on my own experiences with bosses, I can honestly state that only two of my bosses were kind. They easily pop into my memory. Those bosses I also worked the hardest for, because I wanted others to see them a positively as I did.
Outside of work, the number of kind men was also low. I am always surprised when men are kind to me. I tend to inspire women to be kind more often. When men are kind it may be a small thing to them, but it matters a great deal to me. I shared in past stories the kindness I received from strangers.
Of course, my experience is not a trend. Yet when I talk to people, they tell me that they also find it rare to meet kind men. In fact, many women have been surprised when I am kind to them. To me, this is a sad state of business when it is normal for men to be jerks, and people just accept that.
I don’t understand why anyone tolerates anyone who is unkind. To me, being kind is part of being an adult and a nurturing person. We are not asked to heal the world, but we can refrain from continuing to damage it.
Listen I want to make this clear. We don’t have to fix others’ problems, but with kindness, we can avoid adding to other people’s burdens.