People are quick to make enemies

Judge Judy Image
Judge Judy Image
judge judy image

I was just thinking of all of the Judge Judy and other courtroom cases I saw. I thought about what Judge Judy said. “When I see two women who no longer have a friendship, it is usually because of a man.”

The reason I was thinking of that is that I was thinking about friendship and how often friendships have been lost because people’s feelings have been hurt. I am not perfect and sometimes have hurt my friend’s feelings, but the test of a friendship is if we can talk about them and work through our mistakes. If we can’t do that, it wasn’t much of a friendship, was it?

Now I am not here to judge people I don’t know on TV. More just want to share how surprised I am at how easily people let long-term friendship go. I never wanted to give up friendships, even those that weren’t good for me when I was younger. As I got older I realized that some people just aren’t helpful for me to be around. Some people’s idea of friendship is that benefits only go one way. That isn’t my idea of friendship.

I do have friends now, and I value them tremendously. If they hurt my feelings I would not give up on them, and I know that we could talk through our feelings and I would easily and quickly apologize. Too often people’s pride is injured and then they cut people out of their lives. Now if people are toxic, you have to cut them out of your life. Everything in life requires judgment, and it isn’t helpful to listen to shallow-minded people on the internet tell you what they think is best for you.

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When I watched those cases I wondered if it was worth it. Was it worth going on TV and getting the emotional satisfaction of winning, but losing the most important connections in your life? Even though we ignore and push people away, we can’t avoid the fact that we are connected with people. It isn’t easy, and most of the time other people are emotionally challenging, but what choice do we have? To live a life where we protect our hearts and sacrifice our souls? That seems like a short-term pyrrhic victory.

Before you make someone your enemy, think about reconciliation. Forgive those who don’t seek to hurt you intensionally, but do it out of ignorance.