I have had many friends who warned me to not trust their own kind.
I appreciated their desire to protect me from what they saw me at risk from. They told me that my kindness and friendliness could be taken advantage of, and that I should be more harsh and careful when dealing with people.
Noted. It was funny how often my friends told me this and when I asked what made them have such a negative opinion of the people they grew up around, they said that they had plenty of negative experiences that taught them this.
Clearly there are people in the world that only care about themselves. You have to be careful with your energy. You have to carefully choose who you spend time around, because you become who you spend time with.
Why am I sharing this? I think back to my past and I had some painful and unhelpful experiences with people as well. I am not pleased with what some other white people are doing, and it is clear what side I am on. I believe in forgiveness and respect, and hate and anger never help us or others.
For a long time I felt bad that because I am white I have benefited from a system that hurts others at my expense. I have done as much as I can to help others. This is not to brag but to realize the lucky and fortunate place that I have found. I have sometimes gotten undeserved positive treatment, and sometimes gotten undeserved negative treatment. Its life and we all have to forgive those who hurt us.
The more our emotions control us, the less helpful we can be to others. The more our thoughts control us, the more distorted life becomes. I have learned that when we balance our emotions, thoughts and spirit we can have a beautiful intentional life where we can help ourselves without hurting others.
If you can’t find a win/win for yourself and others, ask for help from others until you can.