If you watch any reality show or home improvement show, you see that our desires are almost the same.
I’ve been watching a show called Fixer Uppers and almost everyone wants the exact same things. The women want to have a certain number of rooms usually 3 or 4, and a big kitchen. The men want outdoor space and a tv room. People say they are unique, but this doesn’t seem to be true.
I think people’s ego wants them to believe they are unique because it gives them a sense of purpose and meaning. The truth is that we are far less special than we think we are. I would say that out of the billions of people in the world, only a handful are truly different and special. Most people do not want the responsibility of being different, just the benefits.
The responsibility of being different is in facing those people who disagree with you. It is in having difficult conversations with people who have good intentions toward you. I will give you an example.
One time a coworker nicely asked about one of the relationships in my life. I realized that if I lied to her, it would be difficult and not worth it to maintain. However, if I told her the truth, it was a very personal topic and it would require me to trust her. I decided to tell her. The fact is, that the burden of a lie was more trouble than it was worth.
I had to tell the truth because the choice that I made was not typical of what the majority of people do. So if I hadn’t had that conversation, she would have thought something about me that wasn’t true. Which is fine I don’t care what people think of me, but she was sincere in her concern about me, so when people truly care, I am going to be honest with them.
You can lie your way through life, but you cut yourself off from the many wonderful opportunities to help yourself and others grow. That difficult conversation where I honestly allowed her to grow and myself. I have regretted most of the even ‘white’ lies I had done in my life. I have found that if I had let the truth be known, it would have been a better situation for everyone.
I don’t lie unless there is a compelling reason, and most times there is not a compelling reason to lie. Would I lie to save someone’s life? Yes of course, but that is not the reality of most of our lies.
Our desires are mostly the same when we are honest with ourselves. It’s ok if you lie to others, but you shouldn’t lie to yourself.