I had many relationships with Mormons so I understand how it works.
Basically if you are non-Mormon they are friends with you as long as they are talking to you about their faith. Eventually they will present to you the Mormon bible and ask you to pray about it and that they care about you as a person.
I had several Mormons do this with me. They were well-meaning and many of them were friends for a long time. They wanted to sincerely share the truth of their values with me and I thanked them and told them that I would pray about it.
I did pray about it. I didn’t get an answer like I never get an answer. So that was that as they say.
The Mormon GFS I had were similar. I would date them for a few months and then it was time to tell me that their parents said that I needed to become Mormon to continue to date them. When I told them that I didn’t believe in that, then we broke up.
Now all of those people I believe were sincere and honest. I cared and loved them but when I wasn’t what they wanted, then I was not on the spiritual path and no longer worthy of being part of their life.
Which I understand. We all have to do what we think is helpful for us. Now an interesting thing happened 15 years later. I tried out Facebook and when I did, apparently some of these past Mormon relationships were looking for me.
This was a surprise. I didn’t expect to reconnect with people from my past. I was not opposed to it, just surprised. When people don’t make you part of their life then I just accepted that they were not part of my life anymore. I was sad of course, but that is life and you can’t control others actions nor would I ever want to.
What I heard from those Mormon girlfriends who I had romantic relationships and women that I didn’t have romantic relationships with is that they thought of me and missed me. No, this isn’t a humble brag one second more. What the gf said is that they regretted marrying their Mormon bfs, and they regretted their life choices. I joked with them to help them feel better and to show them some kindness. It was too late to change the past, and I am ok with how things turned out. Sure I loved them, but some things in life just don’t seem meant to be.
The women who were not in romantic relationships asked why we never got into a romantic relationship. I needed to leave that place and a relationship would tie me down. Most people don’t move more than 100 miles from where they were born, and there was no place in that state or tri-state area that I wanted to be.
Not just because of Mormonism but because of the empathy of people. In a patrial culture like Mormonism, women are demeaned and I never saw women that way. Some of my gf wanted me to control them but I never wanted that. I wanted strong, independent women who could live without needing a man. I wanted to be loved for who I was, not for the structure/benefits that I could give someone. Don’t we all want to be loved for what we are?
Its impossible to do that, when your religion is telling you that you need to focus on your external appearance more than what is happening inside. When you learn to be inauthentic to yourself and others, in order to appear more “good”. If someone looks good, they probably aren’t developed inside and that a real problem for all of us.