Let people go their own speed

internet speed comic
internet speed comic
internet speed comic

When you are good at something, it can be frustrating to deal with people who are slower than you.

One of the parts of being an IT person is that people feel self-conscious and ignorant when you help them. They have a problem and they don’t know how to fix it, and it frustrates and bothers them. I always try to show that problems require experience, and that the solution isn’t always immediately obvious.

Why am I sharing this? Those people who are close to us, may wish that we made faster progress in our behavior change. They may want to have a certain life with us, but waiting for us to change to make life easier for them. In the same way, when others change to make it easier for us we can sometimes be impatient with others.

One of the things that I have learned in life is to let people go at their own speed. I had a mentor tell me once that I should mention something once and then let it go. If people want to do something they will, and to continue to mention it doesn’t help anyone. So once I learned that, I have applied that to my life. It means that sometimes I don’t get an answer that would help me do my job in IT, and sometimes when they are ready then we continue with that aspect of the project.

One of the things that I have done as a consultant is to try to imagine the demands/pressure of change that is forced on a company and why they reach out for help. I wouldn’t want a consultant who feels like they are my dad making sure that I do things right by over supervising. You have to read the room and see where people are, and then meet them where they are. Only tell them what they are asking, and provide context when it becomes necessary.

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People learn and can change at different rates and you have to honor that. For some companies they are ready to change immediately, but with others you need to introduce something, and give it time to percolate. Then in a few days, weeks or even months on complex configurations they are ready for the change.

We change because we are convinced that it is a more helpful choice than what we are currently doing. Often you have to experience failure before you are ready to change.