I am convinced that we would all get along, if we just took the time to listen to each other.
For example, I know that the average man doesn’t understand women. It has been my experience that the average woman doesn’t understand men. This is my attempt to help women understand men better.
Men are simple creatures for the most part. As long as our needs are meet we are happy. What are our needs? The same as women. To be safe, loved, have our physical, spiritual and intellectual needs taken care of.
Now what did I say for the most part? There are a few men who don’t fit the mold of the average man. Some men try to be unique on purpose. They think that it will gain them some benefit. Perhaps it does for a while. Ultimately however when you live a lie, it doesn’t bring you happiness because that isn’t really who you are.
For example, when I was younger I liked to wear fancy clothes. I still like to do that. For me wearing fancy clothes was fun, and it was part of being expressive and creative. However some dating couches tell me to dress up in an extravagant way that will draw attention to themselves. Yes it works, but at what cost. Are you attracting people to who you are, or what you temporarily possess? When you are alone and without your clothes, will they still be attracted to you? Doubtful.
Yet some men think that dress is the way to land and keep a woman. That if they look good enough, they will be good enough. Ultimately as men we feel good enough because of who we are, not in what we do or become.
This is where I think women have problems understanding men. They think that men are like women in that we believe we need to act or do something to be acceptable. Most men accept themselves as they are, because that is the reality of being a man. We have to accept ourselves and create ourselves in this life or we have nothing.
I think the reason that many middle aged white men are killing themselves, is that they no longer find themselves acceptable. They may not have a relationship, job or any purpose in their life. As men we need to have purpose, and when we find a purpose we dedicate ourselves to it. We live with commitment, duty and Klingon values that are often excessive and silly. Our word is our bond. As men if we don’t keep our word we don’t feel good about ourselves. Women often say that men are worthless, but I disagree. No man who keeps his word is worthless.
There are always exceptions to generalizations but this is what I have found to be true about men.