I always appreciate and value feedback from coworkers, and often change my behavior because of it.
That is the helpful side with feedback. The unhelpful side is that emotionally it can ruin your day or several days.
I recently got feedback and I appreciated the person who gave it to me and thanked them. It was something that I could improve upon and I agreed with him.
However the challenge was that I felt bad for what he perceived as a mistake, and I felt bad for a long time.
No one is responsible for your emotions. I am responsible for how I feel. This topic needs some details so I reached out to ChatGPT to help me. ChatGPT below.
Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) often struggle with negative feedback due to their unique neurological and emotional makeup. Here’s a detailed look at why this happens and how it can be better understood and managed.
Why HSPs Struggle with Negative Feedback
1. Deeper Processing of Stimuli
HSPs are wired to process information more deeply, including social cues, tone, and context. This means they tend to analyze criticism intensely—often replaying it repeatedly and scrutinizing every word. Even minor feedback can feel monumental.
2. Heightened Emotional Reactivity
Because of their increased emotional responsiveness, HSPs may experience feedback as a personal failure or emotional wound, rather than a neutral suggestion for improvement.
3. Strong Desire to Please
Many HSPs are conscientious and strive to meet high standards. Negative feedback can trigger feelings of shame, guilt, or inadequacy—especially if they feel they’ve disappointed someone.
4. Overstimulation and Stress
The feedback moment—especially in confrontational or public scenarios—can cause overstimulation. This leads to emotional exhaustion, making it hard for HSPs to respond constructively in the moment.
How to Manage or Deliver Feedback to HSPs
For the HSP Themselves:
- Pause and Process: Take time before reacting. Journaling or talking it out can help.
- Seek Clarity: Ask for specific examples if feedback is vague or feels overly harsh.
- Reframe Feedback: Train yourself to view it as an opportunity to grow, not as a judgment on your worth.
- Self-Compassion: Acknowledge the discomfort but remind yourself that one moment doesn’t define you.
For Those Giving Feedback:
- Be Gentle and Specific: Use kind language, focus on behavior—not personality.
- Highlight Positives Too: Balance feedback with genuine appreciation.
- Allow Space for Processing: HSPs may need time to reflect before they can respond or act.
- Provide a Safe Environment: One-on-one, calm settings are ideal for delivering sensitive feedback.
Final Thoughts
HSPs’ sensitivity can be a strength—leading to creativity, empathy, and thoughtfulness—but it also means feedback needs to be handled with care. With the right strategies, both receiving and giving feedback can become a growth-centered experience rather than a source of anxiety.
Human here again. Now I did all of this. I replayed the conversation, even though it was minor and the person was nice about it took me a long time to let it go. It is 3 days later and there are still traces of shame feeling that I let someone down. I wonder how many perfectionists are HSP’s?
We are going to make mistakes, so be gentle with yourself and others.