I took drivers ed class when I was about 17. I didn’t want to drive sooner than that because it was a great deal of responsibility.
When I finally took it I was the oldest person in the class. Almost everyone was 14 or even younger because in a farming community there are exemptions for younger drivers for farm equipment.
Why am I sharing this? One minute and you will see. The first time that I drove the car it was during winter and icy and snowy. I felt a tremendous sense of responsibility. I could accidently hurt someone if I wasn’t careful and I didn’t want to do that.
However everything unraveled quickly. I was trying to stop at one of the busiest interactions in our city and the cheap drivers ed car brakes were sliding on the snow and ice. The drivers ed teacher told me what to do and I did it and the car stopped.
At that point I didn’t want to drive anymore. If I can’t control the car then I shouldn’t be driving it. I finished my 15 minutes and then got in the back seat and the other students drove.
I am sharing this because I always had an excessive sense of responsibility. Both of myself and others. While this can make you appear valuable as a coworker, it costs you dearly in your personal life.
It takes time to let go of the sense of feeling responsibile for others. We can care and love others, but their choices and their consequences belong to them.
I continued to learn to drive the car in the snow and got pretty good at it. Still I never have trusted the snow since, and I always remember not to trust technology to save me. Strange thing that someone who works in technology would say, but its true.