Don’t say words you are going to regret

writing class comic

Don’t say words you are going to regret. Listening to the always beautiful The Alan Parsons Project – Eye in the Sky album. It is in my Favorite Music section.

One of the most beautiful things about music is the ability to elevate our mood, thoughts, and being. We let our mouths say things that are hurtful, lies or things we know don’t help us yet we rarely apologize or stop it. Isn’t it strange that once we say something we tend to defend it, no matter how ill-conceived it was when we said it?

Many times I have wanted to say something that I knew wasn’t going to help me or others. I had to stop that in my brain. If my conversation doesn’t educate, inspire, or entertain then why speak it? For that reason many articles that I have written here that were negative I deleted. I still believed in my experience and what I said but reading them doesn’t help anyone. I vented and let go and then they get deleted.

Yes, I hear the objection now. If it was the truth why not leave it up to warn others? I don’t think people really want to be warned. People want to experience and make mistakes, and I have never found that my warnings of the obvious danger to my friends helped. In fact, it did the opposite. When people want your advice they will ask for it. Otherwise assume they don’t want to hear your opinion.

I almost never regret what I have said. I am not saying that to brag, but rather I am very careful what I say. I think about it for a long time and then say it. When I say it, it needed to be said and there was no other way to solve the problem. I know because I have tried. One of the downsides of a thoughtful person is that when they have decided something, nothing will change their mind. They have already considered the options and arguments and they know what they want. What this means is that the best people in our lives will leave us when they have had enough, and nothing we do can change their minds. We messed up, and it is just our fault.

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It is not easy admitting you screwed up, but the alternative is to be right and alienate everyone. What is your choice?