Kids have lots of fears. As a kid I was scared of the water.
Part of my fear is that because I lived in a desert I didn’t have much experience with the water. Even though there was a river a few miles from where I grew up, I didn’t go there.
Why am I sharing this? Its ok to have feelings and to be aware of things that scare you.
As a child I took swimming lessons and the first day was the toughest for me. I didn’t want to get into the water and I probably frustrated my female swim instructor. She was probably 20 years older than me, but what I remember is that she went slowly with me and I tipped toed into the shallow end of the pool. I held onto the railing for dear life.
This wasn’t private instruction, this was with a class. The rest of the class was doing their thing and I was in the shallow end seeing the end of my short life flash before my eyes. I couldn’t do what they did so easily which is go into the deep end of the pool which was way above my head. I didn’t trust myself, and mostly I didn’t trust the water that was heavy and pressing against with me too much pressure.
Remember this was before I was aware of being an HSP so all of this pressure was overwhelming for me. It was more of a sensory overload than anything else, although with my active imagination it didn’t help me. I think at the end of the class I was ok with being in the shallow end where I could stand, and that was my progress for the day.
The teacher had compassion and empathy with me and said it was ok that I was in the shallow end. She never made me feel bad because I was slow. For that reason and others, I learned in my life to be patient with others when they were slow doing something that seemed easy and natural for me. We all have different gifts, and we all benefit with others are emphatic and compassionate to us.
Slowly, very slowly in class I learned that the water was fun and not to be afraid of. I learned that even with the pressure I was going to be ok. It wasn’t my special understanding, it was the teacher showing me that no matter what I felt it was ok and that I was ok to be nervous in a new situation.
Years later when her husband died and I was in the funeral line, I shared that she was my swim instructor and that I always remembered that. I told her and her other children who helped me in other ways in our small community that I wouldn’t be the man today without their help. They were grateful and laughed. Being accepted always helps others, even when they don’t fully understand their feelings and why something is scary.