All my life I have struggled watching people that I love and like make choices that are not in their self-interest.
This is not me projecting what I think they need. This is from them, telling me what they want and then not choosing it. Lets give you some examples.
I had a babysitter who was a relative who took care of me sometimes as a kid. I spent alot of time with her, and really grew to appreciate who she was. Well move time forward 10 years and I happen to run into her in a bar in that same town. She is a bartender and it is during the day and business is slow.
She is expressing that she doesn’t want to be a bartender forever and that she would like to increase her computer skills. I was running a computer consulting business and I made her a deal that told her I had never made anyone else. For an hour of my regular wage, I would give her unlimited computer instruction. I wanted her to succeed and I wanted her to be what she wanted to be. I left my business card.
She never contacted me. I was willing to donate my time to her basically to help her upskill, but for whatever reason she didn’t want to do it. She acknowledged that I could teach her things, and that she wanted to learn, but she couldn’t actually bring herself to make the choice to choose a better future. At the very least I could have given her skills to be a secretary and that would have been a better future.
This is not just about her but about everyone that I interacted with in my life who had a chance at a better future and didn’t take it. I had plenty of cousins and friends and when I encouraged them to work toward their dreams, they instead to choose to live in the muck of mediocrity. They said they wanted more and had dreams, but failed to do anything to make those dreams a reality.
I am not judging these people. They have a right to choose whatever they want from life. It is just surprising to me that when people have the chance to grow, they don’t take it. Instead they prefer to feel their emotions and be right, rather than being happy.