
I often see things in social media that seem intuitively true but are false. Here is my list.
- People at the food bank who have new cars. The theory is that if people are poor, why do they have a new car? Responsible people keep their car and fix it instead of being shallow and buying a new car. The reality: You don’t know why they have a new car. They may be living with relatives and borrowing their car. They may be able to afford the monthly low payment, and may not have money to fix unexpected expenses. A well known study said that the majority of people could not afford an unexpected $400 expense. How would poor people be able to fix an older car? They can’t. Only rich people can afford older cars that need surprise maintenance.
- Everything is becoming worthless. Countless people talk about poor quality in social media. The reality: People fail to do research before they buy things. I research before I buy a major and often minor items. You can find quality items, and there are companies that make things that last a lifetime. People think that they can go to the mall or easily find lifetime items. Its not that way anymore. You have to work to find things that work well. What I see are people who complain because they are lazy and didn’t do the front work before they bought something.
- I can’t conceive of a problem so there isn’t a problem. The reality is that your lack of imagination or knowledge doesn’t negate the problem for others. I once was told in 1999 that Black people don’t suffer from racism anymore from a white person in a white state who knew almost no black people. How would they even know what the current state of racism is like? We have to ask people who are affected by the problem how the problem is. Too often in life I see a lack of empathy and ignorance because we want things to be a certain way, and reality doesn’t work that way.
- Reality is whatever I think it is. The reality is that reality is bigger than any of us. We speak about our reality when we talk, but we rarely question it. We need to allow that other peoples reality is equally valid and for limited parts of their experience, more valid than our own. A white person can’t tell a black person what their reality is about racism, just like a man can’t tell a woman what to do. Each person has the right to own their reality and speak to it.
- They are keeping information from you. The reality is that you are keeping more information from yourself, than they ever could. Lets pretend that every conspiracy theory is correct. There are aliens, there is a secret cabal running the world, and the other political side eats children. Now what? Are you going to take action on this? Are you capable of bring about change? As much as conspiracy theorists love to talk about reality, they do damn little about changing it. If there are aliens, then prove it. If the other side eats children, then find the evidence. If the cabal is running the world, then expose it rationally and let the rest of the world see. I question anyone sincerity who seeks the truth, but doesn’t expose what they see as an evil in the world. Most people don’t have evidence for these beliefs, which doesn’t mean it isn’t true, but doesn’t mean it is true. So until there is hard evidence, this is a fantasy and doesn’t help you.
- The other gender is evil. The reality is that the other gender is as screwed up as your gender. There are differences in how men/women have been raised, and it is difficult for true communication between individuals. Everyone is an individual and stereotypes don’t help anyone. Both men/women have pros/cons and the pointless bickering about who has got it worse has to stop. You all claim to be adults, and you act like children. Suck it up buttercup and treat people with respect and kindness.
- Promises don’t need to be kept. The reality is that when you break promises you lower trust and you damage your relationship with those who believe in you. People make promises all the time they don’t keep. I don’t make a promise unless I can keep it. I will do whatever it takes to keep a promise. Society and community work because we have made a promise to respect and give each other the space to live. When we fail to that we have regressed to animals and deserve our fate.
- Ignorance is a valid strategy to get through life. The reality is that when you are ignorant you suffer less intellectually, but more emotionally. When you learn, you suffer more intellectually, and less emotionally. You can see that sometimes people have to take two steps forward and one step back when they are growing. You understand that not all growth is a direct line. Often it has low and high points, and times when small insights are made and times when big insights are made. All is growth. We have to be patient with the growth of our fellow human beings. No matter how slow it may be, it is progress.
- There is always someone to blame and once we get rid of them things will be better. The reality is that everyone is to blame. No one creates a situation by themselves. We do things often unconsciously as a group. We elect leaders who hurt us, and support institutions that suck our life away. We have to become conscious about the little harm we do, and try to do as little harm in every way as possible. Every choice matters.
- God will fix everything after we die. The reality is that we don’t have evidence that God is going to fix things on earth. If we look at history we can’t tease out Gods existence. However we can act with love and kindness to our fellow man, and in that way make Heaven a place on earth. That is a reality I would love to get behind.