How to give feedback to your boss
One of the most difficult things in life is to give feedback to your boss. Very few times does it really help.
First lets talk about the biggest problem in doing this. A manager will always feel that your opinion is wrong, no matter how reasonable and thoughtful it seems to you. People never ask for feedback, so when you offer it, it will always surprise and shock people. Most importantly, if you have to tell them things they don’t want to hear, prepare for them to get emotional about it.
Given all of these problems why do I give my boss feedback? People say they want honesty in relationships, but what they want is to to have their own opinions unchallenged. People rarely have the grace and humbleness and intelligence to admit to their mistakes. I first admit that make mistakes and I take ownership of them. In every situation I will take all of the responsibility I can, so that I can grow and learn from it.
What I have seen is that bosses come in all shapes and sizes and personalties. I have had some excellent bosses, and some were less than stellar. I have always shared my opinion and it hasn’t always been appreciated. Still, I am not a robot and if they aren’t adult enough to listen to my opinion then it probably isn’t a good fit to work there. I don’t demand that someone agree with my opinions. I expect that an adult will listen to what I say, and then give their perspective on things.
What makes an honest adult conversation with your boss successful? Being listened to. I don’t require that anything is done although if someone has understood me, they might want to change to improve things. Most of the time things don’t change and thats ok to. I don’t have a monopoly on truth. Do you?
- You’re not as good as you think you are
- Stories from my Past: How to defend the indefensible
- Stories from my Past: Lets go to lunch
- People don’t want details
- Don’t give unsolicited advice