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Don’t speak to those who won’t benefit from your words

Don’t speak to those who won’t benefit from your words.

I am so silly at times. I think that others are interested in the same things that I am. I think that others want to grow, improve, or learn. This is not always true. It is not even mostly true.

Here are the rules that I follow to help me determine when I should speak and what I should say.

  1. I don’t give unsolicited advice. When someone is acting as thought they are asking for advice by venting I always ask if they are just venting or if they are asking for advice. Normally people just want to vent.
  2. I don’t talk to people who don’t have an open mind. This is harder to judge. Normally people who have open minds are people who change their mind in response to new information. When people don’t want to adapt to new information, then I am not going to waste my time with them.
  3. I don’t talk about controversial issues. I am not afraid of discussing them. I am very interested in them. However most people do not handle those discussions well, so it is best to avoid them at work. Friends of course are lots of fun to discuss these issues with.

Often I forget and have conversations and then realize that I have just wasted my time. I think that part of growing up is that you let go of the need to be right. It has been one of the happiest things in my life to let go of needing to be right.

I think in life that we are happiest when we use our energy to do things that enhance our life and others. Good intentions, fantasies and anything else is not going to help them or us. Don’t waste your time like I have.

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