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Dealing with haters

It is an interesting thing about life. The amount of haters you have has no relation to what kind of person you are.

I have had the experience of people who don’t like tell me directly why they don’t like me. Every time I get this feedback I have to smile. You realize that the things they tell you are things that you can’t do anything about.

For example, one person said they didn’t like me because I was “too damn happy all the time. No one is that happy.” I didn’t know how to respond to this. Remember that one of my guiding principles in life is “not condemn and not convert”. I think I said something like I will try to avoid you more in the future.

Another person said that she didn’t like me because I was too loud. At times I can get excited and loud so I own this feedback. She said that if I was more quiet like her that she would like me more. It is interesting. I am quiet when I listen and I listen to my coworkers often. So I wasn’t sure what she was looking for. I think I said I will listen to her better in the future.

Look I am not trying to humblebrag here. I am saying that the people who don’t like you, don’t like you because of who are you. It isn’t helpful to get feedback from people who hate you, because often there is nothing really wrong with you. I am not saying I am perfect. I have things that I can improve. However asking people who dislike you for advice or listening to their advice, you should also consider the source.

I think we can all learn from each other. I try to listen and learn from other people. No matter how thoughtful and sensitive you are, there are still people who don’t like you for who you are. Let go of the desire for everyone to like you, and let people hate you. Some people just want to be miserable.

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