Not that I am an expert, but I wanted to share some things that I have learned from others.
If someone is your inferior, or you think they are, it is essential that you don’t make them feel that. It is true that you may be better in some things than others are, but it is equally true they are better in some things than you. So unless you are prepared to extensively interview someone, don’t you think it’s a little presumptuous to assume you are a better/smarter/prettier person?
Life is difficult for most people. Don’t take what other people do personally. If someone hurts you then acknowledge that in yourself, and remove yourself from the situation if you feel it is required. Otherwise, accept that other people make mistakes and that you will sometimes bear the burden of those mistakes unfairly.
Don’t expect things. So much of our pain and anger stems from the feeling that you can’t control your life. You can control parts of your life, but not everything. So when things don’t work out, that’s ok, because often they work out better than we expect. Don’t expect that any hard work you do will pay off. Sometimes you get laid off, divorced or hurt when it isn’t your fault. Sometimes people just hurt others instead of dealing with the hurt inside themselves.
Be larger than the situation you are in. In every situation, we have a choice to be controlled by events, or to accept and control our attitude and response. Victor Frankel a holocaust survivor said “He who has a why to live, can bear almost any how.” Have a why and purpose to live, and the other things will just let go.
Find love, kindness, forgiveness, empathy whenever possible. Many times in life you have difficult situations, but when you focus on difficult things your ability to make peace with them decreases. Life is a balance, so remember to focus on your passions and the things that make you feel alive and bring you happiness.
Accept your luggage. We all come into the world with some luggage that keeps us from expressing everything we want to feel. We can be so happy, but we have to unpack and look at beliefs and ideas to see if they are helping our hurting us. This takes time, and the bravest and most noble people eventually do this.
Allow yourself to have fun. Life has plenty of responsibilities, but it is all about balance. If you work hard, then play hard. If you need fun, then have fun. Spend time doing things that help you to grow, so you don’t become a shell of a person.
Challenge yourself to grow. I am big into growing, even though I feel good with the person I am. A famous quote goes “Who is not being busy growing is busy dying.” Don’t forget you are more like a plant than a rock.
It’s ok to make mistakes. Being human means that you are going to misunderstand and do the wrong thing. The more that you can accept yourself and your own mistakes, the more you can accept mistakes in others.
Listen to your inner voice. Whenever you hear something, ask yourself it is really true in your life or just easy to believe. Challenge everything, or else you are just a robot that has been programmed by family/society.
I disagree. Certain things we are all entitled to, and it is the lack of entitlement that is the foundation of problems.
There are certain things in life that being human means we are entitled. Being human means that we respect ourselves and others, and have the opportunity to live in ways to express that. Would you argue that a baby has no right to live, or to be free to die if that is its purpose? We should not seek to put rules on the universe.
This idea of entitlement is more due to the idea of duality. You spoke about the idea of things you want and things you work toward having. If we believe that we need more than what we have, we suffer from duality. What we have is far more than what most of the world has. Nothing wrong with having goals and a purpose in life, but we should not confuse piling up material goods, or social accomplishments as proof of our worthiness.
It is sometimes hard for people to see that we have ultimately everything that we need. The greatest happiness in my life has been to realize that I am not separate from the universe but part of it, and already have access to everything I could possibly use. Happiness is inside, not outside of us.
I have had the fortune to move to a new environment in another state. It has been a little stressful and I wanted to share some ideas that may make moving to a new place easier for you.
Allow yourself time to adjust. I have been in my new place less than a week yet I want to continue with my life as though I had never left my previous place. It takes time to learn geography, culture, weather and so many other less defined things. I found it helpful to meditate and to allow to absorb my environment.
Make time to connect to others. This is always important but even more so when moving to a new place. Take every opportunity to attend every social event you can. Find a group to join, and hang out in the popular places. Be friendly and be interested in others.
Be open to feeling a little odd at first. You aren’t going to reflect your society in your first week. It might take a month or a year. Be ok with sometimes feeling strange, and admitting your discomfort. Often when you feel awkward so do others. Being emotionally honest is a very helpful thing in making friends.
When you love life, look for ways to share your enthusiasm with others. Invite others to do things in public. Invite and don’t expect, but just give people opportunities to get to know you. Often people can be shy and not share who they are because of their own fears.
Smile and laugh. Look for ways to enjoy life. If others are around you great, great. If they are not, that is ok too, because a naturally happy person soon attracts attention.