Tagged: health

Stories from my past: I am damaged goods

Français : Jeune Fille Bondo portant ses produ...
Image via Wikipedia

I once went on a date with a woman who was an attractive, intelligent and caring person. We had a great conversation and things were going very well. Then she said something that really surprised me, and made me think of it since.

“I used to be engaged to be married, but it didn’t work out. So that means I am damaged goods” she said.

“What does that mean?” I asked.

“I don’t want to talk about it” she replied.

I had never called or been called damaged goods before so I did some internet research about it. Apparently the idea is that if someone has been hurt like sexual, physical, emotional abuse, or they have had sex with other people they are not worth having a relationship with. This kind of thinking surprised me.

It has been my experience that the more that you can listen, empathize and ask kind questions, the more happy my life has become. I was not happy (or making anyone else happy) being judgmental, harsh, repeating my beliefs, and being a jerk. It sounds simple to hear, but we often make ourselves unhappy by thinking that being right is more important than respecting freedom of choice.

So the reason I am sharing this today is that I wanted to better understand the thinking that goes behind the statement she said. The idea that you are broken because of an experience seems incomplete to me. Certainly there are consequences for past behavior, but that doesn’t seem to me that you are defective for having that experience. I know that people sometimes blame themselves for the junk that happens to them in their lives. Sometimes this is valuable and allows them to grow, but sometimes junk happens just because this is life and others actions affect us.

I guess it is hard for me to accept that people have unhelpful and untrue ideas about themselves, and seem to fight to the death that belief system. I am no ones therapist, but as a friend and fellow human I would ask that people be kinder to themselves and others. Certainly we all make mistakes, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t intelligent or wise enough to learn from them.

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Why Crazy People Make Better Bloggers – Forbes

 

Crazy People
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Why Crazy People Make Better Bloggers – Forbes. I disagree with this article. This kind of advice hurts those people’s future job prospects and life. Do you want someone to be popular because you are unstable, or because you are respected? It’s easy to burn quickly through your 15 minutes of fame, but its a better feeling to inspire others to greatness, not pity or laughter.

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People are paranoid

English: GPS navigation solution running on a ...

Let me give you two examples.

  1. A gf of mine was surprised when I found her at her job after her work hours. She had told me her office hours, and invited me to come by whenever I wanted. So when I get there she looks at me and says “How did you know I was here?” I thought to myself, should I tell her about the GPS I implanted on her in her sleep but thought she might think I was serious.
  2. A co-worker of mine was surprised when I found him the bathroom at work. It wasn’t the normal bathroom that I went to, or him but it was close so why not? He said “How did you know I was here?” I said “It was random. I was hoping you weren’t here.”

Why are people paranoid? Things are going to happen like this when you are around someone enough. I never ask anyone who happens to find me in the bathroom, “How did you know I was here?” I don’t think anyone is following me. Maybe someone is and just good at hiding it, but I doubt it. My life would bore them to death, although its great for me.

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Book Review: Hands of Light: A Guide to Healing Through the Human Energy Field (9780553345391): Barbara Brennan, Jos. A. Smith: Books

Amazon.com: Hands of Light: A Guide to Healing Through the Human Energy Field (9780553345391): Barbara Brennan, Jos. A. Smith: Books. I thought this had some interesting things to say. I don’t agree with everything she had to say. For the time it was published it was good, but it has been superseded by newer information.

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Dentist was high-point of day yesterday

BERLIN - OCTOBER 12: A dentist and her assist...
Image by Getty Images via @daylife

Yesterday was a tough day for me. The stars were not aligned. That is the past though, so I won’t dwell on it. I seem to be happiest when I focus my thoughts and energy on the present.

I wanted to share that my best part of yesterday was seeing a new dentist. He was a friendly chap, and very through. I hadn’t been to a dentist in years due to the tight economy, but I was healthy and didn’t have any issues either. I have been very fortunate.

I realized how when I hear most people’s experiences with the dentist it isn’t pleasant. I wonder how much of that was due to lifestyle choices, versus hereditary factors. I wonder how people who don’t have the privilege of seeing a dentist survive. Sometimes you have to feel so grateful when you can have a relatively pain-free existence. Well maybe I don’t feel pain, but I might cause it to others! So not totally pain-free.

I commented to the hygienist that she seemed like a pretty happy person, and she said that I seemed positive myself. Well I don’t know how you couldn’t be positive in that room. They had toys for the kids, it was yellow, had plants and had to be the friendliest dentist office I had been in. It was in a home, which was a first for me. Normally Dentists have been in a commercial space. It was like a small town shop, which didn’t bother me. They had all the normal equipment, so it wasn’t like he was using duck tape and baling wire.

I wonder what the high-point of today will be? Life has its own surprises in store.

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