It is common for people to want what they don’t have. I think part of this is striving for something more than what you have, and being bored with what you now have.

In the past I wanted the best luxury goods that I could afford. I mistakenly thought that those things would show my worth to others. I thought that having nice things meant that I was a better person, and that my life meant something. I see now how misguided that thinking was. It is not that having things are bad, it is just that things can never give you what you are seeking for.

I wonder sometimes why half of people get divorced these days. I wonder why someone can go from wanting someone so bad that they can’t imagine living without them, to not wanting to be their friend anymore. I am not judging those who divorce. I am just curious what happens along the path of life that causes our feelings to change. People often say “irreconcilable differences”. Yes, people do change, but then why did you want that person in the first place?

I think looking back at my own relationships that what I wanted from them, was something that I wanted in myself. I wanted something that they could not give, and when they saw that I could not give them what they wanted, they said goodbye. I said goodbye a few times as well so I am not a victim here. I think that many times people enter into relationships hoping and with fantasies that the other person has something that they may not have. Then when reality sets in, they “fall out of love” with someone they technically never “fell into love” in the first place with.

It is human nature to think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. I think that is part of the hope of wanting what you can’t have is that what may be forbidden or against your beliefs, is possible with the other person. For example, I had girlfriends in the past that took me to meet their parents and I clearly was not the kind of man they wanted their daughter to date. I wasn’t the religion that the family was, and that meant that I was a bad, evil man. Sometimes I love being used.

I have learned that the things that have made me the most happy in life are these: a sense of calm centeredness, kindness with myself and others, admitting mistakes quickly (boy I sure have practice with this one), forgiving others of their mistakes quickly. You may not have control over what happens to you in your life, but you certainly have control over your attitude to it.