Tagged: Coffeehouse

February 1, 2011

Stories from the coffeehouse: Communication is key

Image via Wikipedia

It had been a productive hour at the coffeehouse. I had found some interesting articles and studied some new stuff. I went to clean up and drop off my cup in the garbage and I overheard two women loudly talking.

“The professor doesn’t explain things very well does he?”, she asked her friend. ”Do you understand it?”

“No not at all. I don’t understand how people can teach and not be able to communicate. Communication is key.”, her friend said.

“I’m sorry to interrupt you both, but I couldn’t avoid hearing you both talking about how important Communication is and I agree with you.”, I said.

They both turned to me and smiled. The first woman said “It is nice to hear confirmation!”, and gave her friend a cross between a high-five and a hug.

Her friend added “We are taking the same class and we can’t understand what the professor is saying so we are just having to teach ourselves. Thanks for letting us vent. Sometimes you feel that people don’t care about communication.”

We started some small talk for a few minutes and they explained how they felt that 90% of the problems in the world were due to just miscommunication. I agree with that I told them.

“I am going to let you continue because I have some things to finish.”, I said. ”Thanks for being open to talking to me.”, I said.

“Oh of course,” the second woman responded. ”After all communication is key.”, she said with a smile.

January 31, 2011

Stories from the coffeehouse: Unexpected gifts

One day I noticed a gentleman trying to help a mature woman with her computer. He seemed frustrated that he couldn’t help her, and apologized. Since I know something about computers I went up to her and asked if there was anything I could do.

“Oh yes, I tried with that gentlemen to get my computer online here but it won’t go online,” she said frustrated. ”I’ve tried to get this thing working for two hours with different people’s help, and I have to sent out my resume to a recruiter who contacted me today.”

“Well its your lucky day,” I said with a smile. ”Normally I charge $X to help out people but since your here it’s a freebie for you. So let’s take a look.”

Her laptop was at least 8 years old and had a basic copy of Windows XP on it. It was in poor shape software wise because she had good intentions but not enough experience. She had loaded an anti-virus program that had some issues and that was contributing to the problem. It was actually due to several issues, but after about an hours worth of work fixing that problem and a few others that contributed to it, it worked. She was very diligent and took notes of what I did, and the software programs that I used to fix the issues.

“Oh I don’t know how to thank you!”, she said excitedly. ”Now I can get this resume to the recruiter. I’ve been out of a job for 8 months even though I have a Ph.D. The company that I worked at laid my entire department off, so its tough since I work in a special field.” She explained it to me, and she was an advanced engineer with a ton of experience.

“I felt so stupid that I couldn’t get this thing to work,” she said. ”Here,” she said pressing a $20 into my hand.

“I appreciate the gift, but I told you that it was free. I don’t expect anything from you,” I reminded her.

“I know,” she said, “but you deserve it. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

“Oh I’m sure you would have figured it out.”, I said. ”You were very good in being pro-active and installing things to protect your computer.”

She smiled and got busy and got to work. I went back to my chair and continuing with my blogging for the day.

Almost every meaningful and life changing thing in my life has been a gift. Not a material one like cash, but sometimes a gift of time or of the heart.

January 30, 2011

Stories from the coffeehouse: I like to dance

Vladivostock Dancing Kids — Image by libraryman via Flickr

One day while I was working on the blog I noticed a young woman sit down at the table beside me. She had a huge bag, which she pulled a laptop, books and lots of other stuff from. She smiled at me so and I noticed her attractive glasses and said, “The glasses make you look smart”

She laughed and said “Thanks. I like yours too,” extending her hand to shake mine in greeting.

As we talked it became clear that she was studying for college and that she was a Filipina. She was friendly but I needed to continue working so I said we would talk later. When I left I told her goodbye and she flashed a beautiful smile.

It was a week later when I came to the coffeehouse and she was there! I noticed that she had a small kid with her maybe a 5-year-old boy. I didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable since we had only talked once, but I didn’t have to worry. When she saw me she smiled and I came over and talked. Her son who was playing on an iPad like computer saw me and got out of his chair and said “I like to dance!” and showed me his skills.

“Oh you are good dancer,” I replied. His mom laughed.

We spoke for a few minutes. She explained that its tough for a single mothers now, and I agreed. I can’t imagine what it would be like to have a minimum wage job, go to college and have a child. When I smiled at her again in my mind I was thinking “What a hero. When life gets tough you gear up and work harder.” Where do people find such strength? No matter what, she is already a hero for raising a child who has such joy and so open to share with others.

January 28, 2011

Stories from the coffeehouse: A hero and his mandarin orange

This is the second in a new segment.

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When I entered I saw two mature women playing what looked like scrabble with a yellow banana on the table near them. They were both smiling and very friendly so it was easy to talk to them. In fact, one of them saw me and smiled and said:

“It’s a great day isn’t it?”

“Of course.”, I replied. ”Even if its cold, I still enjoy drinking my hot chocolate. I am curious however, are you playing scrabble?”

The younger one replied “Its called banannagrams.” She explained the process to me. ”Want to play?“, she invited me?

“Normally I would love to, but I need to work on my blog for the few viewers I have.”, I said. ”Once I get done, I might play.” With that I set to work finding interesting articles to share for that day.

Once I was done I returned to their table and asked “So what is the reason that you both are smiling so big today?”

The older one said “My grandson is coming home today from the war and we are going to pick him up in a few hours at O’Hare. We are so glad that he is ok, even though it is his second tour of duty.”

“I’m glad to hear that. What does he do?”, I asked.

“He is a reconnoissance pilot. It is dangerous work, even though he is away from the main fighting.”, she replied. “We have more family that are going to meet him at the airport.”

“Oh so he is going to be spoiled today isn’t he?”, I joked with them. “You know maybe you can give him a present when he comes home of some food that he has missed. Is there anything that he really likes?”

“Oh I hadn’t thought of that. I know this will sound crazy but he really likes mandarin oranges. We can stop by the store and get some of those before we see him. He will be so thrilled.”, she and her daughter excitedly said together.

I said “I am sure he will love it. It is a thoughtful gift and shows that you were thinking of him.”

Some small talk later they said they had to go, and thanked me for our conversation. The older one said “I hope we see you again and for sure we will play banannagrams them.”

I smiled and said “Count on it. Tell him welcome home from me.” Mother Theresa said “We can do no great things. We can only do small things with great love.”

January 28, 2011

Stories from the coffeehouse: Love in a wreak

Last year I started to meet people in a local coffeehouse and I wanted to share some of their touching stories. These were strangers that I was friendly to, and all of these stories are true.

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As he walked in the door with his girlfriend I could see it was difficult for him. As he moved slowly using his forearm crutches, his beautiful girlfriend helped him. He sat down with difficulty across the table from me into one of the comfortable leather chairs.

“Do you want some coffee or hot chocolate?”, his girlfriend asked him.

“Coffee please, with two sugars.”, he responded.

After she left I noticed that he was looking around so I smiled at him and said “I wish I could get my girlfriend trained like that. What is your secret?”

He laughed and said “It’s nothing that a strong backhand doesn’t fix.” Of course he was joking because he looked weak and incapable of that behavior. He continued “Na, I am just joking. She is a sweet woman and we help each other out.”

His girlfriend reappeared and I said “Your boyfriend said that you were a sweet woman and you guys help each other out. I’m jealous.”

She responded and said “Of course, he used to help me out why shouldn’t I help him out?” in a rhetorical manner. ”My name is Susan nice to meet you.”

As I spoke with both of them I discovered that he had been in an accident and he showed me his left leg that had a huge scar in the middle of the leg where he said it had been cut open after the car accident. He lifted up the leg of his pants to the knee showing me his prosthetic leg. More incredibly he described how he had been starved of oxygen for several minutes and the doctor said to his girlfriend that he wouldn’t survive or be retarded.

I would be remiss if I didn’t say here that the look of love on his girlfriends face was bordering on crying. I felt like crying myself because of the odds that he overcame and the strength he showed doing it. He seemed to be in pain talking so I asked his girlfriend if he was in pain, and she said yes.

“After that surgery he had his hip replaced and even though he is on the strongest pain medications, he still is suffering.”, Susan said.

I asked why he wasn’t given further medicine then to dull the pain and she said that it just isn’t allowed. I could see that they loved each other so much. I said “You are so proud of him. What makes you so happy to be with him?”

It was an endless stream of compliments she gave him. She explained how he had been in college until the accident, and that he will continue once he finishes healing. She explained how he had helped her though school, and how much she is looking forward to their future together.

It was mesmerizing. He didn’t complain and she said he never complained and that he found ways to help her. When you see and experience people who are struggling yet still find ways to give of themselves, it makes you feel very motivated to share yourself.

As they left I said goodbye to both of them and they seemed glad for the conversation we had. I couldn’t help but think that when so many people complain about how worthless relationships are, they have never had the experience that these two young people have. Love can blossom from painful, ugly things, even one where you lose part of who you are.